How To Be A Good Father For Building A Happy Family

How to be a good father for building a happy family

I often wonder thinking about my children and questioning myself how to be a good father to my children for building my family happy.

 

There is no simple or easy answer to it.

Being a good father you have so many things to worry about.

The subject is too broad only the surface could be scratched in one article. In fact, my entire post is addressing this subject matter.

This article will simply attract a few areas where a father being head of the family can create a happy family environment for children.

 

1. Encourage your child to have fun at home

 

 

Having fun together is the surest way of wanting to belong together.

The most important thing in life, if a child is to develop into a sound personality, is a sense of belonging.

Nothing gives a greater sense of security than being able to laugh and play with one’s father.

If you ask your child how to be a good father then he would probably reply the same.

Family games, singing and making music together, reading together, putting on plays, taking trips, planning and giving parties, and talking and laughing together are active forms of fun that will be long remembered.

The atmosphere of a home must be friendly and tolerant to encourage fun at home.

After about age eight, children often want to be out with their friends instead of being at home.

But if fathers are understanding and encourage their children to bring friends home, and if they keep a relaxed, friendly attitude at all times, children will form a deep and lasting attachment to home and family.

READING TOGETHER helps to establish a permanent bond of friendship with children, for reading is a truly shared experience.

 

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It gives us a chance to laugh together and to compare ideas about living.

The people we meet in books gives us friends in common.

Incidents in books give us something to talk about.

In these days when most fathers work intensively all day and come home tired.

Reading to children for twenty or thirty minutes may seem an extra strain, but they pay in terms of companionship and mutual appreciation is beyond reckoning.

2. Keep the good conversation alive

 

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Children love to talk to a sympathetic father and if you are wondering how to be a good father then remember to keep a good conversation with your children always alive.

Their need to understand themselves and their world is so great that they seize every opportunity to discover new facts and values.

Nothing satisfies their emotional need for security more surely than knowing that they have an adult friend to whom they can speak freely.

Fathers can be their children’s best friend if they learn to listen quietly and to discuss anything that comes up without shock or criticism.

Listening to children is the only way to know them.

Fathers discover what kinds of people their children like and admire.

Which activities engross them, what things they have not understood clearly even after we’ve tried to explain.

Fathers learn to know when children are reporting events objectively and when they are coloring them with their own fears or fancies.

We can kill all future possibilities for talking with our children at an early age if we brush off their eager questions.

If we interrupt their vivid stories if we fail to pay sincere attention and let our minds wander to our own affairs.

We must have time for talking and not appear always to be rushing off.

There are basic courtesies that must be followed in conversations at home or with friends.

Each person must listen until another has finished making his point.

Everyone must learn to make a point and put a period to it, not drag a tale around with endless “and,” “so,” “buts.

They must maintain a moderate tone of voice and calmness when subjects are controversial.

The object of conversation is to learn another’s point of view and to clarify our own.

The conversation is not a battlefield where words are more deadly than words.

Arguments must be backed with facts.

We must be able to quote authorities.

 

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3. Plan special events together

 

 

Vacations usually come but once a year.

But monthly or weekly trips can be as exciting as any vacation so keep in mind to look for trips if you are wondering how to be a good father for your children throughout the year.

Let everyone help to plan trips in advance.

There’s a special kind of fun in knowing what’s coming.

Let each person take some special responsibility in making preparations, or handling the money, or engineering the event.

Because not everyone always likes to do the same things, it’s often wise to let each person have his turn in choosing the spot for the next big adventure.

Don’t be upset if one member of the family suddenly balks at going along.

It’s quite normal for everyone to refuse once in a while.

A boy may be in a new stage of independence.

Accept a refusal graciously and without showing that you’re seriously disappointed.

Say you’ll miss him and that you hope he’ll change his mind about coming.

Then go ahead with plans, making them as interesting as possible.

 

4. Make a tradition of family parties

 

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Whenever you give a party or celebrate a holiday or invite friends in for an informal supper, your family has a chance to put its best foot forward.

Everyone can show off his best manners.

All the charm and graciousness and warmth of each individual personality can help in making the occasion a pleasant one.

Everyone’s skill in decorating, arranging the house, setting the table, cooking, or keeping up a bright conversation can be used effectively.

The atmosphere of the house itself will reflect the affection and good humor which the entire family has been using in its day-to-day living.

No wonder party days become highlights in the family’s life and you get an answer to your question of how to be a good father on that day.

 

5. Give every child of school age an allowance 

 

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By the time children go to school, they have real needs for money and should be given an allowance which will gradually help them learn to spend wisely.

Without money of their own, they must wheedle it out of parents in any way possible, and there is bound to be emotional friction.

There is only one way for children to learn to spend wisely, and that is through constant practice.

Children must learn sometime that there is no end to the things one can want but that there is quickly an end to the cash one has in pocket.

The sooner they begin, the more skillful they’ll grow.

Giving such an opportunity of learning to your child will satisfy every father who wants to know how to be a good father for his children.

 

6. Create privacy for everyone

 

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One of the great causes of friction in modern homes is the lack of privacy.

Being a father tries to reserve separate places inside the house for each child to use.

This will control a lot of behavior problems in children as well.

No one has a chance to work or study or pursue his own hobbies, without bumping into everyone else in the family.

There are times when anyone would like to be alone if only to read a story or a letter.

Everyone would like to keep his own possessions in his own way.

All children want at least a corner of a room where they can bring their own friends. 

 

7. Put a bulletin board in the front hall or kitchen 

 

Put a bulletin board in the front hall or kitchen

A bulletin board keeps the members of a busy family in touch with one another in many ways.

It is a communication center during the times when everyone is away from home with different interests and duties.

It keeps the family feels warm and alive and preserves family unity.

A father can leave notes telling where he has gone and when he expects to return.

Children can come into an empty house and leave word that they’re going to a playground or that they’ll be detained at a school meeting of some sort.

Notes of apology, folded and marked “personal,” can clear up tense moments between two people in the family.

 

8. Establish a family council

 

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Some families with children of upper-grade and high-school-age are finding regular meetings of a family council very valuable.

Fathers become less dictatorial when they use government by the family council.

Even in major decisions, they allow discussion and a vote.

The fathers’ greater knowledge of the facts of any case helps them to influence decisions, but they do not ordinarily force their authority.

Sometimes they must.

 

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When all members of a family feel free to say what they think and to take part in making rules for the household-they willingly try to live up to those rules.

They are citizens in their own homes.

They accept their share of responsibility for the management and the peace of their home.

The feeling of being grown-up which results from being respected and treated as an equal member of a family group is the basis of all successfully mature behavior.

The family council can eliminate the hostilities and resentments which children often feel as a result of their father’s demands.

Fathers will have to do much skillful guiding of discussions and much subtle directing of decisions without seeming to boss affairs.

 

9. Discuss family crises openly

 

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There are many events that affect everyone in a family.

The birth of a new child or the death of a member of the family can cause many changes in relationships and many emotional problems.

Illness, divorce, and the absence from home of a mother or father or an elder brother make many readjustments necessary.

Being head of the family you must provide all children an opportunity to have their thoughts about any crisis they may face as a family member.

 

10. Give children genuine responsibilities

 

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The way a family approaches housework and daily chores have much to do with its ability to have fun.

Too often children resent the daily jobs they are requested to do because they feel imposed on.

They get neither thanks nor praise for their efforts but are criticized continuously for failure to do something perfectly or for not doing it at a specific time.

Members of a family council, on the other hand, are made to feel that the home belongs to the entire family.

Any work the children do will be of real value to everyone, then have time to follow their individual interests.

Jobs are assigned and everyone is more than willing to co-operate.

They will not be working simply for work’s sake or because they’ve been ordered to work.

They will be working as a team with their parents to keep an attractive home that is comfortable to live in every day and which they can be proud of whenever their friends come to visit them.

Each person feels a vital interest in all that happens because he has a vital part in the home-making activities.

What does your child say about his perception of Good father?

Would like to share with us your child comments about good father below in the comments area.

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